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A "healthy warning" about:

Sexuality, Pornography, Paedophilia, Masturbation, Polygamy, Homosexuality, Adultery...

This article aims to present the ideal for sexuality using the Bible and to consider some of the dangers of departures from this ideal (e.g. pornography, paedophilia, masturbation, polygamy, adultery, homosexuality) . It also explores the subject of healing for victims and instigators of sexual derangements. The focus is mainly on the social, relational and spiritual dimensions rather than the physical. 

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1. The ideal

Mt. 19: 3-12. This passage says:

3 ¶ The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

This is a very helpful Bible text. When asked a question regarding marriage Jesus pointed his hearers back to humanity's origins. Back to Genesis chapters 2 and 3. These first chapters in Genesis reveal God's original design for human sexuality. God "made them male and female". This rules out homosexuality, paedophilia and sexual relations with oneself, i.e. masturbation. God made one man and one woman. That rules out polygamy and adultery (which includes pornography). God joined Adam and Eve together in the first marriage. That rules out premarital sex. As you can see sexual relations outside the God ordained marriage union are departures from the ideal or, to use an unpopular word, derangements.

One of the main reasons for today's explosion of sexual derangements is the denial of humanity's true origin. The theory of evolution does away with the book of Genesis. This theory teaches that man is nothing more than an advanced animal. Thus it gives open license for all kinds of animalistic sexual behaviour. Satan has gone to a lot of trouble to undermine and attack the two vital institutions originating in the Garden of Eden, namely marriage and the Sabbath. Marriage is a foundation for human relationships, and the Sabbath is foundational to our relationship with the one true Creator God. Satan works hard to promote unhealthy sexual practices because he knows that by doing so he will undermine the family and help stamp the next generation with more and more inflamed passions and debased morals.

This passage in Matthew chapter 19 reinforces the sacredness and importance of the marriage union and introduces the gift of singleness. Jesus recognises that although singleness was not God's original intent for humanity, it is at times a calling and gift of God (1Co. chapter 7 also recognises this).

Ge.4: 1. "Now Adam new Eve his wife" The KJV translators expressed a truth here relating to the fact that the marriage union is the sharing of two lives not just two bodies. This fact is borne out by problems experienced by marriage couples who had premarital sex with others before their marriage. Here is a quote from the Article The High Price of Pre-marital Sex in the Magazine Signs of the Times (Warburton, Vic. 3799, Australia), 8/2000 page 10, "And then there are the ghosts in the bedroom. There is a saying that when you sleep with someone, you are sleeping with everyone that person has slept with. Wendy, another interviewee in Spivey's book, feels that having more than one sexual partner causes problems because, sometimes, if her husband says something or does a certain thing, it reminds her of someone else.' I'm married now,' she says,' and I want be present here in this marriage relationship, not thinking about other people.' "

Getting back to the ideal, Pr. 5: 18, 19 and the Song of Solomon express the God-designed joy of true marital relations. Those who follow God's plan will have the most enjoyable experience.

1Co. 7: 2-7 recognises the importance of communication, respect and understanding between husband and wife (See also Eph. 5:25-31). Perhaps in connection with this passage it would be appropriate to mention that many genuine marriages are not characterised by happy sexual relations. An example of one problem is erectile dysfunction. It is estimated that 39% of Australian males aged 18 to 91 suffer from erectile dysfunction (52% of those with high blood pressure and even more in diabetics). I would encourage married men who are suffering from this problem to talk to a general practitioner about it. General practitioners have received much information on this subject recently and should be very happy to talk about the problem and offer treatment options. The same goes with other problems affecting sexual relations within marriage including reduced libido (sex drive). Reduced libido can be associated with various things including nutritional deficiency, stress, hormonal problems and prescription medication. If you do not know what to say to a doctor to introduce the subject of problems with sexuality within your marriage try saying, "Can I talk to you about problems we are having with our marriage relations?" For more challenging problems in this area a referral to a urologist may be appropriate. One web site that may be useful on this subject is www.pfizer.com.au There are also good books and other material on the subject, but you need to very careful about the material you choose. It should definitely be by a Christian author. The tape by Dr Ed Wheat called Sex and Sexual Problems in Marriage is a very helpful resource and it should be possible to order this through a Christian Book Shop or an Adventist Book Centre.

Another problem, not commonly discussed nowadays, is that of sexual excesses within marriage. According to the Bible we are to exercise temperance in all things (1Co. 9: 25). Regarding this whole area I would advise making sure your relationship with Christ is healthy and talking to Him about it as an individual and as a couple. 1Co. 7: 5 relates somewhat to this area. Apart from anything else over-doing sexuality within marriage (and outside marriage) can cause physical problems. For example it may lead to zinc and possibly other deficiencies in men. Zinc deficiency in teenage boys can be a really major problem for their health if they masturbate and/or engage in inappropriate sex of other forms. Symptoms of zinc deficiency are very variable but do include paranoia, depression and learning difficulties. But please note that not every male who is zinc deficient is overdoing sex! Sexual excesses may also contribute to prostatitis (although prostatitis may also be initiated by a sudden reduction in sexual activity). For the treatment of prostatitis the herb Saw Palmetto is very useful. In women sexual excess may lead to pelvic pains caused by engorgement with blood. This can probably be a problem even without over-doing sexual relations if such relations do not regularly lead to orgasm in the lady. It appears that orgasm causes a disbursement of the blood that has accumulated in the pelvic vessels. Again, please note that not every woman with pelvic pain is getting it from sexual excesses!

Finally, the Bible says in Hebrews 13:4: "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers [fornicators] and adulterers God will judge."

2. The Problem of Sexual Derangements

a). The Prevalence. The statistics are sickening. And so are the nature and volume of problems. All around us we have the evidence that sexual derangements and immorality are a special problem of our times. A few examples of the problem include the sharp rise, in recent years, of premarital sex, child molestation, de facto relationships, homosexuality and the amount and availability of pornography. Here is a statistical example: In a survey of Scottish teenagers with an average age of only fourteen, 18% of boys and 15% of girls reported that they had had sex. Of these, 45% of the girls and 32% of the boys indicated that they regretted losing their virginity when they did. A common reason given for the regret was that they had either applied pressure to, or experienced pressure from, their partner (British Medical Journal 2000, 320:1243-1244 as reported in Zest!, Vol. 2, Issue 4).

Believe it or not this is what a leading Christian worker wrote in 1869: "Immorality abounds everywhere. Licentiousness is the special sin of this age. Never did vice lift its deformed head with such boldness as now. The people seem to be benumbed, and the lovers of virtue and true goodness are nearly discouraged by its boldness, strength, and prevalence." Ellen White, Child Guidance, page 440 (or Testimonies for the Church. Vol. 2, p. 346), emphasis supplied. Further quotations from this Christian author are given at the end of this article.

It is interesting that when Paul describes the works of the flesh in Gal. 5: 19-21 the first four items relate to sexual problems (See also Eph. 5:3-6). Sexual derangements also appear very largely in Paul's description of the human problem in Romans chapter 1 (see verses 24-28). So it appears that sexual derangements have always been a problem but that the problem is especially bad in these last days.

b). The power. Unhealthy sexual practises are highly addictive, Pr. 5: 20, 22, 23. Also a hypnotic-like seduction can make the tempted ones oblivious of consequences, Pr. 6: 24-35 (here is a true enchanted ground which we must avoid).

c). The effects.

I will not be discussing in detail the area of sexual transmitted infections in this presentation. These can lead to lifelong problems in both males and females. Such problems include chronic pain and infertility. While several of the STD's can be treated reasonably easily others are more difficult to treat. These include herpes, papilloma virus and AIDS. STD's are a really big problem and should be a major motivation for individuals to avoid sexuality outside of the sacred marriage union.

Regarding the effects, we need to make a distinction between the instigators and the victims of sexual derangements.

i). The instigators. Proverbs chapter 7 is very explicit. 1Co. 6: 18, 19 says "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?" What does Paul mean when he says "sins against his own body"? I believe he is talking about the scars. The spiritual, emotional and relationship scars which result from the practice of sexual derangements. Those who have been unfortunate enough to fall into these practices carry special burdens and scars. Later on we will discuss some of the treatment provisions God has provided for repentant persons to receive. However these persons, according to the natural laws presented in the Bible, will carry the scars until Christ's return. King David is an example here. Although he was definitely forgiven and we certainly expect to see him in heaven, his sin with Bathsheba resulted in very tragic consequences.

ii). The victims. Several victims of sexual molestation are recorded in the Bible. These include Dinah (Ge. Chapter 34), the maid in Judges Chapter 19, and King David's daughter Tamar (2 Sa. Chapter 13). We could also include the woman caught in adultery of John chapter 8 and the experience of Lot with his two daughters (second half of Genesis Chapter 19). It is also worth mentioning that in Genesis chapter 19 it describes even angels (disguised as men) being threatened with sexual abuse. Of course the effects on victims are devastating. However, we must remember that God views these individuals with special compassion and tenderness. If God could still love King David after his terrible behaviour, surely He has tender thoughts and healing love for the victims of sexual attacks.

The study of the following Scriptures may be helpful:

Ps. 55. Perhaps the words of this Psalm will help you express your feelings to God.

Mt. 6: 9-15. Forgiveness is important and can only be properly accomplished with Divine help. But forgiveness does not mean you must avoid prosecuting the perpetrator(s). For example, God forgave King David, but still required him to bear the consequences. What these consequences were is seen in the subsequent trauma suffered by David in his family life. It must be pointed out here that David also committed murder -- not just adultery.

Mt. 26: 48 to 27: 54. As the song goes, "Burdens are lifted at Calvary."

Ro. 12: 14-21. This passage relates to the important subject of justice.

Re. 21, 22. In heaven there is true purity and all sexually immoral persons will be excluded (Re. 21:8; 22:15 NKJV).

I would also recommend the reading of the booklet called Where Is God When You Hurt? (Richard Coffen, Copyright1995, Review & Herald Publishing Association, 55 W. Oak Ridge Drive, Hagerstown, Maryland 21740 USA) Which is adapted from the 127-page book called, When God Sheds Tears by the same author and publisher.

Be very careful about who you may see for counseling. You need to make sure they have a healthy philosophy of approaching the subject.

Psalms 32 and 51. I believe these chapters would be extremely helpful for instigators to memorise. They need to confess and repent. They need to receive forgiveness. They need the re-creative power of God in their hearts.

1 Co. 6:9-11. This passage says (italics supplied), "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, ... shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God." Christ is able to cleanse and renew.

2Co. 3: 18. They should not focus on their sins and impurities but upon Christ and His purity. It is especially important in this area of morality to recognise this truth: The more you focus on the problem the bigger it will get; the more you focus on Christ the more the problem will vanish away. Repentant instigators need to guard their thoughts very carefully. They should busy themselves with doing good things so that they do not think about impurities. They need to constantly feed their minds with pure material. I believe this is especially important for those who have been deeply involved with pornography.

Mt. 4: 10. They need to understand the battle for their minds. It is important to remember that evil thoughts are not necessarily sin. Satan and his emissaries are, of course, aware of our obvious weaknesses and sins. He can introduce evil thoughts into our minds. It is then up to us what we do these thoughts. If we cherish them they turn to sin, if we say with Christ "away with you Satan" and choose to think about something else we can gain the victory.

Tit. 3: 3-7. We need to meditate on God's grace.

Mt. 20: 48-27: 54. We need to meditate on what Christ has done for us.

1Co. 10: 1-13. This passage describes the experience of the Israelites in the wilderness. They had problems with immorality. Instigators can gain courage from this passage by realising that God will give them the strength they need to never fall into their evil habits again (verse 13).

The following suggestions are designed to help people avoid becoming victims and/or instigators.

a). Gain wisdom and understanding regarding these matters. The book of Proverbs is especially helpful here. We need to understand its wickedness (Genesis 39:9). We also need to understand its dangers. Let me tell you something that has gone through my mind while I'm driving. When I see reptiles squashed on the road it reminds me of the devastating effects of falling into sexual sins. The reptiles crawl out on to the warm road surface feeling very nice but they do not appreciate their danger until it is too late. Thankfully, Christ does not leave us as a crushed mess on the road (Ps. 34: 18). If we respond to His grace He can reconstruct our lives even though we will bare scars.

b). As mentioned above in the treatment of instigators, we need to focus our lives on Christ and His purity (2Co. 3: 18; Heb. 12: 1-3).

c). We need to make a decision to flee sexual immorality (Ge. 39: 8-10; 1Co. 6: 18; Job 31:1; Psalms 101:3; Psalms 119:37). Men and boys must be careful not make a lustful second look at women and girls dressed immodestly.

d). The Bible discusses men's eyes (Mt 5:27,28) and women's clothes (1Pe.3:3;1Tim. 2:9). 

Here is what the first two of these passages say:

27 ¶ Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. [Jesus Christ speaking].

9 ¶ in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, (NKJV)

Men have a responsibility not to look lustfully, and women have an equal responsibility not to dress in such a way as to invite lustful looks. I believe husbands have a responsibility to inform their wives about how men's eyes work. And fathers and mothers have a responsibility to tell their daughters. Having said this I think it should be fairly plain to ladies what is likely to cause problems for men. I know that this kind of modesty is against fashion, against the images we see posted everywhere and against the beach culture. It is fashionable to expose the breasts, the abdomens, the thighs etc. It may be fashionable to wear tight contour clothing, "exposey" bathing suits, dresses with long splits in etc.  But it is not modest. I do not wish to write a list here of all the specific kinds of clothing styles that are a problem. I will leave that to commonsense. But I will mention that certain postures and positions are also immodest.  

I am not advocating extremism. I am not here promoting veiling of the face, avoiding exposing the arms, never any trousers and all that kind of thing. But I am against the kind of thing that promotes unhealthy sexuality. Take for example today's fashion swimming costumes. They are very immodest.  I have found it upsetting that an otherwise modest Christian young lady, who seems to wear fairly appropriate clothing otherwise, can put on a bikini or something similar and walk around in front of men on a beach or play with young men in a swimming pool. And we Christian men are not without fault. Do we not get involved with organising such events? Think carefully about it. Taking the precautions above is not just a matter of helping to avoid lustful looks. In today's society wearing inappropriate dress may actually be inviting molestation. Remember that men will imagine crimes before they commit them.

e). Pornography is poisonous. It wrecks the mind and abuses the imagination. It degrades and animalises the nature. It is addictive. It can easily destroy a promising youth or wreck a marriage. Avoid it like the plague.

f). Avoid mixed-sex flatting and similar situations.

g). Avoid things that can increase inappropriate sexual desire. Such things may include inappropriate petting and/or caressing, the use of alcohol and other drugs and the use of heavy beat music. On this subject it is interesting to note that intoxicants and heavy beat music along with dancing are the heart and soul of the pagan festivals that end with orgies (I wonder where the disco came from??).

In this area I could tell you some very sad stories I have heard as a doctor. For example, in New Zealand I saw a man who was driving home (from some meeting I think) with another woman whom I believe he did not know that well. They had had alcohol and just decided to stop off at a motel and have sex. The man was not very pleased with himself and he came to see me worried about STD's. In New Zealand I saw an another married young woman who got rather drunk at a party. While in this state she was taken advantage of by a stranger. I heard of another woman at a business function who had her drink spiked with something while she was up dancing. She took the drink and had no recollection of what happened for approximately the next 12 hours. She was found the next day walking the roads in a confused state. She has not been the same since.

h). Watch out for false doctrines and for false teachers. These appear to have been a problem with the early church. See for example 2 Pe. Chapter 2 ; Jude, and Revelation 2: 14-23. In today's world I would say that the main false teachers undermining morality are those teachers who promote evolutionary theories for the origin of mankind, those teachers who undermine the importance of the moral law (the Ten Commandments) and those teachers who promote the concept of "cheap grace" (i.e., don't worry about continuing in sin because God will always forgive you).

i). 2 Pe. Chapter 2 reminds us of the experience of Lot. What was Lot's big mistake? It was in locating his family near a place renowned for its immorality and vice. Should we not take heed from Lot's experience and do our best to keep our families away from such places? We certainly need God's grace to do this because of the prevalence of such places. Such places include our popular beaches (and some deserted ones), most cities and towns, our living rooms when we have the TV tuned to certain channels, programmes or even advertisements, our offices and bedrooms when we have out computers tuned to certain sites, and even our local newsagent with its racks of pornographic magazines.

j) Be very careful who baby-sits or minds your children. Especially be cautious regarding male babysitters.

k) Married people: Especially watch out if at your place of work or study you are brought in contact with someone of the opposite sex for long periods of time on a regular basis. The situation is especially critical if that relationship is in a private environment and the person naturally attractive. I personally would not be prepared to work in such a situation. The classic example here is the male corporate businessman and his young secretary. 

l) Make sure you are genuinely converted! We are "dead meat" (a sure victim) for Satan without Christ in our hearts. If you have a need in this area please read John Chapter 3 and then Matthew 11:28-30 and come to Christ just as you are asking Him to come into your life. All the above advice is not much at all compared to this last point. There are FOUR great decisions to make in life:

1. Will I receive Christ as my Saviour and Lord?

2. What will I do for a job?

3. Will I marry and to whom?

4. Will we have children?

The way of the world is to have sex and produce babies (and keep or abort them), then put number "3" off indefinitely by living de facto. A job needs to be considered once the kids arrive and as for Jesus....         Nevertheless, He will help them and heal them if they will receive Him.

I suggest the best way is "1" then "2" the "3" then "4".

Sexuality within the sacred marriage union is a gift from God. This gift has been misused and abused enormously. Sexual derangements are a huge problem today and we need to be using the treatments and preventive measures revealed and taught in the Bible. Christ is the source of purity and happiness.

Questions or criticisms may be sent to me but you must keep in mind the following: 
(please go to the bottom of any other web page of this site to get my email address. It is not on this page to help reduce trash mail)

1. I simply will not read emails sent in a vicious, vulgar or hateful manner. I aim to treat even my worst enemies with the measure of decency and courtesy that is the right of all human beings. Do we not all have the right to be treated as if we are sincerely wrong?

2. Since this presentation and my own values are based on the Bible, I will take most seriously those criticisms that discuss Bible passages rather than God, society, philosophy and psychology in general.